Around the Web: Hangover Cures
Good morning, sunshine! This week, in light of the festivities you no doubt took part in the other night, we have a special Around the Web compilation for you. Irish or not, these will definitely probably maybe help you cope with all of the decisions you made last night, be they good, bad, or hilarious. Or a combination of the three.
We, uh, kinda dropped the ball on this one. If you're reading this, it's too late for emergency preparedness - you need the full FEMA treatment for your body. But, you need food instead of blankets, and Advil instead of being forcibly camped out in a football stadium. But! Now you have the knowledge for future drunk self. Or maybe, last night's self, if you drunkenly invented a time machine. Either way, it may just save your life day.
"Have you eaten yet?" "You should eat something." Et cetera, et cetera. Tell a friend you're hung over, and they tell you this time and time again. But what to eat? Not all palatable hangover cures are created equal. Instead of advocating grease-laden quick fixes, Refinery 29 advises on things that will help replenish vitamins and minerals - since that's what a hangover really boils down to.
Have you ever had the burning desire to cure your day-after woes ... JUST LIKE JULIA ROBERTS?!?!?! Honestly, neither have we, but thanks to the hard-hitting, Pulitzer-worthy journalism of Cosmo, now you can. It's champagne and OJ, by the by. And if that weren't enough, you can get tips from the Comso editors, too. Even though you'd vastly prefer ours... (stay tuned)
Here at ANNA, we are nothing if not worldly. That being said, never in a million years would we have tried to cure a headache and upset stomach with Haitian voodoo, or, wait for it, a fertilized duck egg, a la the Philippines. That's an aborted duck baby, folks. You'd be remiss to think that's the only cure involving animal genitals, too. Isn't the world lovely?
How Irish are these hangover cures? Other than the Irish brekkie and a few other selections, not very. Hey, at least they're not asking you to eat a bull penis. Or a sheep's eyeball. Sorry, that last article really freaked us out. Like, after a point, wouldn't you rather feel shitty for a couple hours than drinking rabbit poop tea? Is your dignity worth it?
Hang in there, faithful ANNA reader. The hangover will be over before you know it. As for our favorite hangover cure, it's a tie between an avocado omelette, Netflix and nap, and NONE BECAUSE WE ARE AUTONOMOUS EDITING ROBOTS WHO CANNOT FEEL PAIN.
... er, mimosas. Yeah, that.
- ANNA Editorial Staff