Mimosas and Pizza: Dating Misadventures
I made it out alive, but not unscathed.
I’m not the best at dating. I am the best at being awkward and inserting myself into awkward situations, so I suppose I’m good at a certain part of dating. However, the overall dating scene and I aren’t the best of friends, and I think this fact can be encapsulated in one story in particular.
The scene: I was in my senior year of college and incredibly busy. I was also incredibly successful at finding boys who wanted to buy me pizza, but due to time constraints of sorority life, internships and the student newspaper, I didn’t have much time to go out with the boys who wanted to buy me said pizza. At least at night. So I became great at the less time-consuming brunch date. It was simple—we would meet for brunch on a Saturday or Sunday, and if we wanted the date to continue on we would find an activity to keep the momentum moving. If things were a bust after pizza and mimosas (a heavenly combination you don’t know you need until you try it), it ended at the signing of the check. I had a system, as a busy woman does, and I stuck to it.
One day, I met a boy for pizza. The conversation flowed nicely, but he also seemed a little bit too sure of himself for my liking. This guy was cool and he knew it. He also was very obviously coming out of a past relationship and using a date with me as a springboard for getting back out into the game. We chatted for two hours, watched some college basketball and prepared to say goodbye. I didn’t hint towards any more dates, or any interest, but he offered to walk me to my car. Apparently, it was the “gentlemanly thing to do.”
On our way to my car, I processed our date in my head. While it wasn’t the worst date I had ever been on, it wasn’t the best. I knew I wasn’t going to want to see him again, and when I tried to make that clear, the bad thing happened. I suddenly became aware that his face was inching closer and closer and closer towards mine until I couldn’t stand it anymore. I turned my head and awkwardly hugged him to avoid lip contact. That’s something that’s bound to happen. However, when I turned my head, I did so a little too quickly and he came in a little too heavily, and I pinched a nerve in my neck.
I made a move like I was fixing my hair when I was really screaming in pain on the inside and rubbing my neck. This was it, I had officially reached physical pain on a date, a new level of awkwardness. He stared into my eyes, and I smiled at him politely, hiding the grimace on my face. I was trying my hardest to not show my agony, and I think it worked. He simply smiled and asked if I was free anytime in the near future. Thankfully, it was time for winter break and I used spending time with my family as an excuse to get out of another date. I waved goodbye with a pained smile on my face as he retreated to his car. Then, I got into my car, leaned my head back onto the headrest and let out a sigh.
So when you’re feeling down about a date, just remember that your neck isn’t hurting and your nerve isn't pinched. Nobody will ever be perfect at dating, but if you can perfect a way for dates to buy you pizza, you must be doing something right.
Feature photo by Adriana Velasquez via Unsplash.