Oh, The Freshman Year Roommate

It's probably one of the most Googled questions among incoming college freshmen: What can I do about my college roommate?

For many freshmen, attending college provides the first independent living experience including a roommate, who in most instances is a total stranger from a different town, state, or even country. If you live with more than one roommate, say two or three, the situation can have various, sometimes messy outcomes that scare you from ever rooming with a stranger again.

Before we examine a few of the "types" of difficult roommates, let's consider a common scenario: You are paired with a roommate from New Jersey whom, prior to orientation week, you've never met. You've also never been to New Jersey or done any of the things your roommate-to-be has done. She has a fake. You have a subscription to The Wall Street Journal. Before they leave, your parents force you two to go out to Bonefish Grill so you two can bond over, I don't know, the coordinating color of your pillows.

Sooner or later in the semester, you realize that maybe you won't exactly be best friends or even kind-of-friends with this your roommate. It seems like everyone else is obsessed with their roomies. Did you just get unlucky? Are you being difficult? Are you actually boring in comparison? 

The year goes by in a series of emotional breakdowns and educational experiences, but your roomie doesn't have a clue. You both silently agreed you don't want anything to do with one another. That is a neutral and (for some) ideal living situation, very similar to my own.

If any of these sound like your roommate, don't worry or beg your parents to let you move off campus immediately. We know it's hard. Like, really hard. But try to be the better person. Be patient. The mistakes might make you uncomfortable, but be sure to establish how you're going to handle those learning experiences before you end up in a passive aggressive RA meeting during finals. At the very least, you will emerge alive with a funny "roommate from hell" story to share at reunions and holiday parties. 

The messy monogram queen


Despite the fact that you live in a double, her boyfriend is the third, unofficial roommate. Funny enough, she notices when you don't clean, but gets offended when you remind her she needs to take out the trash. She will most likely ask to move out early even after you try to talk things out because she says you're inconsiderate and "don't understand the situation." She sprays perfume to cover up the moldy stench rising from her sheets, which haven't been washed since move in day.

The one with an opinion about everything


The school president, the class president, the dining hall food, you name it, she has a say. On her most annoying days, she thinks she's "helping you" by remarking about the number of snacks you eat in the afternoon. She likes to point out you've gained a beer belly. It sucks because she's right, but you still can't believe she says these things both in and out of your room.

The one who never leaves the room


 Does she even go to class? She's always in the room on her bed watching another video featuring two guys playing Call of Duty. Or Minecraft. You don't care until she leaves her food on the bedside table for more than three days. You try including her, but she doesn't like your friends.

The party princess


No shame whatsoever, but it's consumed her life and to some extent yours. Also, she looks 12 so you wonder how her fake works at that sketchy liquor store. You tell her no parties in the room and she obliges by never coming back to the room until early morning. She smells like booze and munches on Sun Chips from the dorm vending machine at 3 a.m., and that's if she's not eating Taco Bell at the Student Center. And she tried to have a threesome in her bed once when she thought you were out of town. You actually just went to get your laundry and returned to a sock on the door.